I rush from my car to the front door
across loose gravel
and up cement steps
to try to avoid the Night

if I look Her in the eye
She will un-do me

Her biting Cold will not let me hide
or find my rest

Her relentless Stars
will agitate my heart
inflame my sorrow
my aloneness
incite my longing

Her pop-eyed cyclops Moon
will serenade me in a secret language
draw me into her orbit
closer and closer

Her deep Darkness will pierce my pretending
that things are orderly
that things will work out

I pray to the Night,
     go easy on me
     be gentle and kind with my death
     do not shred my heart with ache for my Beloved
     let me have
     at least one of my dreams…

and oh, the liquid Silence...
if I can relax my innards
She will pour through me
and I will disappear
if I can soften my hips
I will become Her
and the ripe Stillness…

lost to the night
Love sidling through
where I used to be
like the fur of a silky beast
no One remaining
in the brilliant sunlight
the next morning