dark north node
of the moon
eclipsing my power
my sex
and grace

I feel the pull
into destruction
of my highest destiny
and Innocent Prayer

the mother says,
you can’t have it,
shame on you

the father says,
you can’t have me,
though I draw you in

they both step
across lines
dishonoring the lamb
and her white coat
cutting off the path
to the juice
the maturing
into splendor
stay weak
stay small
then we can continue
as we are

outer authority
clean the shower
grind the stones
only obedience is allowed

If you are somehow invited
to the festivities
they are for someone else
you will see
the man you long for
in casual intimacy
of conversation
with another
riding together
in the front seat
of a red convertible
not for you
only for others
women who are young
and unspotted

you may learn
the Song
you may risk
the Dance
offer your Blessing
but it will not make him love you
or want you
and will not retrieve
your 20 years
in the gulag

you may cautiously
start to know yourself
as the Luminous One
of the Intent
of the Universe
but the mother and father
will mock you
and the stone man
remains silent

let’s make love
a slow tumble
of the special shapes
in each one
of the fleshy
orbital centers
right through the core
of that
burning ache
spinning us into worlds
where dreams are launched
in safety
before time
in honor
before sorrow
into the liquid black sky
where all is Beauty
where all is Love
and we can try

tender resolution
of the problem of gravity
the bewilderment
of one step forward
and three steps in reverse
rolling all the way
back down the mountain
and the boulder both